Do any of you feel like you're afraid to move on?

[Lisca]

Today is the really bed day for me. I can`t stop watching videos and read articles about him. I don`t know, I became a dancer because of him. Only his music could turn me on, make me feel beautiful. I remember me, 5 years old, sitting in the room, and secretly watching "Bed". That spot makes my feel that I`m doing something forbiden, I was hiding from my parents. And still, can not forget that felling in my whole body.

[mjimissu]

Originally Posted by MJOneGoodMan

That's sounds like good advice Chris.



I wonder too if it's because we're alone with the way we feel in real life. I think if I met up with another fan or fans who feel exactly the same way and we could hug each other and cry for him together and not just keep it to ourselves, you know, I think it would help a lot. It's good to be able to come on here and share your feelings with others who feel the same but still maybe an actual physical coming together with someone in the same situation would be great. Has anyone done that? And did it help?

I think you are right. There is really no one I can talk talk to, maybe generally, but that's about it and they all have their own opinions. We are fortunate to at least have this forum to come to and talk to each other. But yes I feel very alone in my feelings in my daily life. There is no one to hug, no one to cry with.

[halle]

Originally Posted by mjimissu

I think you are right. There is really no one I can talk talk to, maybe generally, but that's about it and they all have their own opinions. We are fortunate to at least have this forum to come to and talk to each other. But yes I feel very alone in my feelings in my daily life. There is no one to hug, no one to cry with.

[lizard76]

Originally Posted by MJOneGoodMan

This sounds like me too. I'm angry at myself for letting things go in my 'real life' but since 25 June Michael has been the most important thing to me. I can't explain it and it doesn't sound right when I type that but I just don't want to let Michael go if that makes sense. I have to literally force myself to do normal everyday things. I'm ashamed to say I know more about him now than I did before that day in June and everything I've learnt makes me feel bad. I feel bad because I took this wonderful person for granted. It's like I'm trying to make that up to him somehow, but it's too late.

Yes, I talk to him in the car on the way to work, which is when I have the most private time. Today I just could not stop weeping, listening to, of all things, "Eaten Alive." I said "I want to listen to these songs and feel joy!" I understand he had to go, for a reason only God knows, but the fact that it took him leaving for everyone to show this love, to know the truth ... I will never be okay with that, within myself. I think I will always feel convicted about it.

Originally Posted by MJOneGoodMan

I wonder too if it's because we're alone with the way we feel in real life. I think if I met up with another fan or fans who feel exactly the same way and we could hug each other and cry for him together and not just keep it to ourselves, you know, I think it would help a lot. It's good to be able to come on here and share your feelings with others who feel the same but still maybe an actual physical coming together with someone in the same situation would be great. Has anyone done that? And did it help?

The few times I have been blessed to meet up with fellow MJFCers it has been an enormous relief. I felt like I could say or do anything and they have all understood and made me feel like I am not crazy. It is a deep understanding, I think. It has to be for a reason.

[Mischa]

Originally Posted by giannaciao

First I want to say whatever you do, never quit Michael. This is what keeps his presence alive on this Earth, all of our shared love and his beautiful amazing music. I understand how you feel, I was in denial myself, and it hit me like a truck about two weeks after his death. Literally it was like one of the most painful things I have ever experienced. I've always loved Michael, but now its like I cannot even contain all the love I feel for him. Just know that you are not alone, and this site will help you more than it will hurt you. At least that is what its doing for me.

I sometimes would feel like it was unhealthy for me to constantly surround myself with everything Michael, because it does not allow me to move on. But then something, and I know it is something not from this world, pulls me back and I remember that I can never turn away from him, because he brings such love to me. Death is a scary thing, and we do not know exactly what happens, but I can tell you this. I know that our souls are too strong and light and significant to just end in death, and I know in my heart that they continue on into the next world. We are all here to comfort each other, and if you ever need someone to talk to I am definitely willing, because I can relate to you so much. I know Michael would be so proud, and he is so proud, that we are all comforting and sharing the love together in honor of him. I pray it will never end, even in the next world when we finally see him again.

Well said, from the heart.

[MoonwalkingGirl]

It just feels with all the well deserved hype over TII, I feel like, what's next? You know...we have the DVD to look forward to, but then what? I just feel unwilling to let go of MJ at this point. No entertainer out there compares to him...but it is so much more than that. The energy and charisma that he exuded to the world through his music and performance is sorely missed. His beautiful spirit lives on, but it is very hard to say 'goodbye.'

Little by little, I am trying to accept what has happened, but it is taking a lot of time. I'm not quite there yet.